You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
