my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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