yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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