just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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