so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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