we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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