If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
