We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
