Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i now understand why vodka
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
