Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
