If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
