We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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