I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
