I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
