The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I could fuck to npr.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
