Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
no you cant smoke seaweed
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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