yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
These tits shall not be calmed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
