That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
