"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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