So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
