I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
