Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
