Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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