Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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