Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
