Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The power of my boobs compel you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
