Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
