Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
