Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
