it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
