Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
