Pappa wants mamma naked
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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