i jhust puked up my retainher.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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