just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
