Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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