who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
