how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
