Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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