I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
