I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
