I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
