did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
