I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
