why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
