anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
