my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
time to smoke my breakfast
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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