I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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