I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
