spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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