Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This toilet bowl is my home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
