he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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