Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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